You've Been Burned Before. Here's How We Prevent It.

By Liz Wooten, LPC

About the Author: Liz Wooten, LPC, is the founder of Enlitens and a rebellious academic dedicated to dismantling the broken mental health system. As an AuDHD therapist with years of front-line crisis experience, she brings a deep, lived understanding to her work. Read Liz’s Full Story Here

Let’s be clear: A bad therapist fit is not a simple mismatch. It is an iatrogenic injury—a wound inflicted by the very person who was supposed to help you heal. And the system is built to let it happen over and over again.

You did the research. You read the profiles full of buzzwords like “affirming” and “trauma-informed.” You got your hopes up. You spent the energy. And then, in the first few sessions, the mask slipped. The “affirming” therapist used pathologizing language. The “trauma-informed” clinician pushed you to talk about things you weren’t ready for. The exhaustion and cynicism you feel now is not pessimism; it is the data from a repeated, failed experiment.

This isn’t just a series of bad apples. It’s a poisoned orchard. The business of private practice incentivizes therapists to present a generic, appealing facade that often has little to do with their actual clinical work. It’s a bait-and-switch that wastes your time, your money, and worst of all, your hope.

The Neurobiological Truth Bomb

You are not “therapy-resistant.” You are resistant to bad, invalidating, and neurologically unsafe therapy. That is not a pathology; it is a sign of a healthy, self-protective nervous system.

The single greatest predictor of therapeutic success is the therapeutic alliance. This isn’t a feeling; it’s a neurobiological state of ventral vagal safety. A bad fit is a state of neuroceptive threat. Your “gut feeling” that something is wrong is your nervous system accurately detecting a lack of safety. Staying in that relationship is not “working through it”; it is re-traumatizing your nervous system.

This is why we architected The 15-Minute Vibe Check. It is not a sales call. It is a risk-free, pre-mission briefing designed for a skeptic. It is a live, real-time vibe check where you are in complete control of the interview. It is our rebellion against the bait-and-switch.

We believe You Are the Expert on Your Life. We Are the Specialists with the Map, and that dynamic starts from the very first interaction. When you’re ready, Start here.

Go Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole

A Conversation, Not a Contract

Worried about being locked into a commitment? Read our manifesto on your absolute right to change your mind at any time.

You Don't Owe Us Your Trauma

The pressure to “open up” on a therapist’s timeline is a clinical failure. Learn about our safety-first approach to your story.

The Goal of Therapy Isn't Happiness

If you’re skeptical of “toxic positivity,” you’re right. A manifesto on the true, resilient goal of healing.

*The information here is meant to guide and inform, not replace the care of a qualified healthcare professional. If you have questions or concerns about a medical or mental-health condition, please reach out to a trusted provider. The examples shared are based on general personas—no personal health details are used. At Enlitens, your privacy is a top priority, and we fully comply with HIPAA regulations to keep your information safe and confidential.

This is a Conversation,
Not a Debate.

This is not a space for debate or unsolicited advice. It is a space for sharing stories. We read every submission, and we will periodically feature the most resonant and validating stories here with the author’s explicit permission. Submit your’s below!

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Take one second. That’s all I’m asking.

Do not try to “calm down.” Do not try to “fix it.” Do not listen to the voice screaming that you need to do something right now.

Just be here, with me, for one single breath.

My name is Liz. I’ve spent years working overnight in the ER, sitting with people on what was often the worst night of their entire lives. I have sat in the eye of the hurricane, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that the chaos you feel right now is not the truth.

It is a storm in your nervous system. And a storm is just a weather pattern. It is not you. It is not permanent. And you do not have to navigate it alone.

Right now, your brain’s alarm system is screaming. The logical part of your brain has been taken offline. That is a normal, brilliant, biological survival response. But you and I are going to bring it back online, together.

We are going to do one, simple, physical thing. This is not a bulls*hit mindfulness exercise. This is a direct, manual override for your nervous system.

Place your hand on your chest.

Can you feel that? The rise and fall. The rhythm. That is the anchor. That is the proof that you are here, in this moment, and you are alive.

Keep your hand there.

Now, we are going to make one choice. The storm is telling you there are a million overwhelming things you have to do. That is a lie. There are only three choices right now, and you only need to pick one.

If you or someone else is in immediate, physical danger and you need help on site, right now:

This is the button you push when you need the paramedics or the police to show up. This is the “bring the fire truck” button.

If you are having thoughts of suicide and you need to talk or text with a human, right now:

This is the national, 24/7 lifeline. It is free, it is confidential, and it is staffed by trained counselors who are ready to listen without judgment. This is the “I need a lifeline” button.

If you are in St. Louis, you are not in crisis but you are in deep distress and need to talk to someone local:

Behavioral Health Response (BHR) is our community’s lifeline. They provide free, confidential telephone counseling and can connect you with local resources. This is the “I need a local guide” button.