The Goal Isn't to Silence the Alarm. It's to Trust the Fire Department.

By Liz Wooten, LPC

About the Author: Liz Wooten, LPC, is the founder of Enlitens and a rebellious academic dedicated to dismantling the broken mental health system. As an AuDHD therapist with years of front-line crisis experience, she brings a deep, lived understanding to her work. Read Liz’s Full Story Here

Let’s cut the bulls*hit.

Your wife has been on you for months to “talk to someone.” You’re angry all the time, your fuse is short, and you feel like you’re the only one holding it all together in a world full of idiots. You know something is wrong, but the idea of sitting in a room talking about your feelings sounds like a special kind of hell.

The lie you’ve been forced to live by is that vulnerability is death. That if you admit you’re not in control, that you’re overwhelmed, your entire world will collapse.

You’ve been sold a dangerous fantasy that the goal of this work is to be “happy”—to silence the anger and anxiety that you see as the problem. That’s a lie. The anger and anxiety are not the problem. They are your body’s smoke detector, screaming that there’s a fire. The goal isn’t to rip the detector off the wall. The goal is to build a better fire department.

Recalibrating Your Alarm System

The problem isn’t that your smoke detector exists. The problem is that a lifetime of fighting—of surviving a chaotic childhood and the military—has taught your nervous system that danger is everywhere. Your amygdala, the brain’s smoke detector, has been hardwired for threat. It’s not broken; it’s just exquisitely, painfully hypersensitive. It’s learned to scream “FIRE!” not just when it sees a flame, but at the slightest whiff of smoke.

The work of good Therapy is not to disable this vital alarm. It is to engage in a slow, patient process of recalibration. It is to help your smoke detector learn the difference between a burnt piece of toast and a house that is actually burning down.

Building Your Internal Fire Department

This is only half the story. The most radical and life-changing part of this work is not about the alarm. It’s about what happens after the alarm goes off.

The real goal of therapy is to build an unshakeable, foundational trust in your own internal Fire Department. This is your capacity to respond to a crisis. It is the regulated, adult part of you that can hear the alarm, feel the heat, and say, “I’ve got this.”

The goal is to get to a place where, when the alarm of anger or anxiety inevitably goes off, your first reaction is not a second wave of panic. It is a quiet, confident, “Okay. The alarm is ringing. Time to call in the professionals.” You learn to trust that you have a well-trained, well-equipped crew inside you that knows exactly how to handle a fire.

This isn’t a “soft skill.” This is a deep, biological rewiring of your system for trauma recovery. Stop chasing the impossible goal of permanent happiness. Start the real, profound, and life-altering work of building a trusting, compassionate relationship with your entire emotional world. The goal isn’t to never have another fire. The goal is to become the most skilled and trustworthy fire chief your own house has ever known. When you’re ready to inspect the equipment, you can Start here.

Go Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole

Stop Talking About Your Trauma

Before you can trust the fire department, you have to feel safe in the firehouse. Learn about our “body-first” approach to building physiological safety.

You Can't Talk Your Way Out of a Panic Attack

When the alarm is blaring, you can’t “logic” your way out of it. This is our practical, “bottom-up” guide to what to do in the middle of a five-alarm fire.

The Myth of the "Chemical Imbalance"

For decades, you were told your alarm was just a “chemical defect.” This is our takedown of the marketing slogan that tried to silence your story..

*The information here is meant to guide and inform, not replace the care of a qualified healthcare professional. If you have questions or concerns about a medical or mental-health condition, please reach out to a trusted provider. The examples shared are based on general personas—no personal health details are used. At Enlitens, your privacy is a top priority, and we fully comply with HIPAA regulations to keep your information safe and confidential.

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Take one second. That’s all I’m asking.

Do not try to “calm down.” Do not try to “fix it.” Do not listen to the voice screaming that you need to do something right now.

Just be here, with me, for one single breath.

My name is Liz. I’ve spent years working overnight in the ER, sitting with people on what was often the worst night of their entire lives. I have sat in the eye of the hurricane, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that the chaos you feel right now is not the truth.

It is a storm in your nervous system. And a storm is just a weather pattern. It is not you. It is not permanent. And you do not have to navigate it alone.

Right now, your brain’s alarm system is screaming. The logical part of your brain has been taken offline. That is a normal, brilliant, biological survival response. But you and I are going to bring it back online, together.

We are going to do one, simple, physical thing. This is not a bulls*hit mindfulness exercise. This is a direct, manual override for your nervous system.

Place your hand on your chest.

Can you feel that? The rise and fall. The rhythm. That is the anchor. That is the proof that you are here, in this moment, and you are alive.

Keep your hand there.

Now, we are going to make one choice. The storm is telling you there are a million overwhelming things you have to do. That is a lie. There are only three choices right now, and you only need to pick one.

If you or someone else is in immediate, physical danger and you need help on site, right now:

This is the button you push when you need the paramedics or the police to show up. This is the “bring the fire truck” button.

If you are having thoughts of suicide and you need to talk or text with a human, right now:

This is the national, 24/7 lifeline. It is free, it is confidential, and it is staffed by trained counselors who are ready to listen without judgment. This is the “I need a lifeline” button.

If you are in St. Louis, you are not in crisis but you are in deep distress and need to talk to someone local:

Behavioral Health Response (BHR) is our community’s lifeline. They provide free, confidential telephone counseling and can connect you with local resources. This is the “I need a local guide” button.