You Understand the "Why." Now You Need the "How."

By Liz Wooten, LPC

About the Author: Liz Wooten, LPC, is the founder of Enlitens and a rebellious academic dedicated to dismantling the broken mental health system. As an AuDHD therapist with years of front-line crisis experience, she brings a deep, lived understanding to her work. Read Liz’s Full Story Here

You are a veteran of the therapy room. You’ve done the work. You have processed your childhood, you can name your attachment style, and you have incredible insight into your emotional patterns. You are fluent in the language of your own “why.” But you still can’t consistently answer all your emails. The laundry is still a mountain. Your brilliant ideas still die in a notebook.

“I know exactly why I’m struggling to start this task. It’s because of my fear of failure, which is rooted in my childhood experiences. I have compassion for that part of myself. So why can’t I just f*cking do the task?”

Here is the myth that is keeping you stuck: The myth that insight automatically creates action. Traditional talk therapy is a powerful tool for building self-awareness, but it is often fundamentally unequipped to teach the practical, non-emotional, mechanical skills of executive function. You haven’t failed at therapy; you’ve simply discovered the limits of that specific tool.

Your insight lives in one part of your brain, and your action-planning lives in another. The self-reflection and storytelling of therapy primarily engage the Default Mode Network (DMN). The skills of planning, prioritizing, and initiating tasks are managed by the Prefrontal Cortex (PFC). You can have a perfectly insightful DMN and still have a burnt-out, under-resourced PFC. They are different systems that require different kinds of support.

THE “YOU ARE HERE” MAP

YOUR JOURNEY:

PHASE 1: THE ARCHAEOLOGICAL DIG (The Past)

Tool: Talk Therapy
Work: Excavating your “why,” understanding your history, healing emotional wounds.
Status: COMPLETE.

PHASE 2: THE GAP (The Present)

Experience: You have the map of the ruins, but you’re still living in them. Frustration is high.

PHASE 3: THE ARCHITECTURAL BUILD (The Future)

Tool: Executive Function Coaching
Work: Designing new systems, building practical skills, creating a life that fits your brain.
Status: READY TO BEGIN.

You have successfully completed the “archaeological dig” of your past. You’ve excavated the artifacts, cataloged the history, and understand the dig site with profound clarity. That is a monumental achievement. But an archaeologist is not an architect. Understanding the old, crumbling foundation doesn’t automatically tell you how to build a new, functional house on top of it. It’s time to change jobs.

THE PERMISSION SLIP

You have permission to graduate from the work of understanding your past.

You have permission to declare the archaeological dig a success.

You have permission to seek a new kind of support, not because your old therapy failed, but because you are ready to build.

You’ve done the courageous work. Now it’s time for the empowering work. When you’re ready to hire an architect, we’re here to help you build.

Go Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole

You Don't Need Another Planner.

A manifesto on why neurotypical productivity tools fail and why you need a custom-built system.

A Burnt-Out CEO, Not a Lazy Parent.

A deep dive into the mechanics of executive burnout and why it’s a resource problem, not a moral failing.

The 15-Minute Vibe Check.

A practical, no-pressure first step to see if our coaching approach is the right fit for your new mission.

*The information here is meant to guide and inform, not replace the care of a qualified healthcare professional. If you have questions or concerns about a medical or mental-health condition, please reach out to a trusted provider. The examples shared are based on general personas—no personal health details are used. At Enlitens, your privacy is a top priority, and we fully comply with HIPAA regulations to keep your information safe and confidential.

This is a Conversation,
Not a Debate.

This is not a space for debate or unsolicited advice. It is a space for sharing stories. We read every submission, and we will periodically feature the most resonant and validating stories here with the author’s explicit permission. Submit your’s below!

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Take one second. That’s all I’m asking.

Do not try to “calm down.” Do not try to “fix it.” Do not listen to the voice screaming that you need to do something right now.

Just be here, with me, for one single breath.

My name is Liz. I’ve spent years working overnight in the ER, sitting with people on what was often the worst night of their entire lives. I have sat in the eye of the hurricane, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that the chaos you feel right now is not the truth.

It is a storm in your nervous system. And a storm is just a weather pattern. It is not you. It is not permanent. And you do not have to navigate it alone.

Right now, your brain’s alarm system is screaming. The logical part of your brain has been taken offline. That is a normal, brilliant, biological survival response. But you and I are going to bring it back online, together.

We are going to do one, simple, physical thing. This is not a bulls*hit mindfulness exercise. This is a direct, manual override for your nervous system.

Place your hand on your chest.

Can you feel that? The rise and fall. The rhythm. That is the anchor. That is the proof that you are here, in this moment, and you are alive.

Keep your hand there.

Now, we are going to make one choice. The storm is telling you there are a million overwhelming things you have to do. That is a lie. There are only three choices right now, and you only need to pick one.

If you or someone else is in immediate, physical danger and you need help on site, right now:

This is the button you push when you need the paramedics or the police to show up. This is the “bring the fire truck” button.

If you are having thoughts of suicide and you need to talk or text with a human, right now:

This is the national, 24/7 lifeline. It is free, it is confidential, and it is staffed by trained counselors who are ready to listen without judgment. This is the “I need a lifeline” button.

If you are in St. Louis, you are not in crisis but you are in deep distress and need to talk to someone local:

Behavioral Health Response (BHR) is our community’s lifeline. They provide free, confidential telephone counseling and can connect you with local resources. This is the “I need a local guide” button.